During college, I experienced two more meniscal repairs/clean-ups/surgeries in addition to several serious ankle injuries. But with any competitive athlete, the goal is always to come back as quickly as possible, because there is always a game, tournament or championship that is right around the corner. I pushed through the rehab and mind games attributed with being sidelined and eventually got back to a relatively high level of competition.

A year after college, I had a pretty big, high speed crash skiing while skiing up in Canada. The doctors thought I had torn my ACL, but in actuality, I had torn my PCL and more meniscus which often comes with the territory with any great knee damage. PCL tears are tricky because they don't heal the same as ACL's and there is much less research due to the relative rarity of that tear. My doctor decided to put me in a straight leg brace for 3 months. I had to wear the straight leg brace 24 hours a day for 3 months, which meant I couldn't do anything for a long time! I won't bear all the details of the recovery, but it took almost a full year before I was able to ride a bike outside in the fresh air after after the initial tear. With ACL tear's patients are on a bike almost immediately following the surgery. I had no idea what to expect or what I was in for and being inactive for such a long period of time for the first time in my life through me into a crazy spiral. I was terribly depressed, but didn't really know it, want to admit it, or know how to deal with it because I viewed the depression as a personal weakness. I also, started using food as my way to distract myself and probably put on 30 pounds which in the end made the depression even worse. Even after I was physically healed, I had all these residual issues that were still with me and took a long time to harness and overcome.

Six years passed without another surgery (kind of thought I was in the clear) then I had my first ACL and MCL tears along with more meniscus damage. With that surgery I was better prepared mentally and being able to get on the bike immediately after surgery made the recovery entirely different from a mental standpoint. I went through rehab and made the normal recovery, but was in a lot of pain throughout the entire process. I couldn't walk up or down stairs, do knee bends, or lunge without sharp shooting pains in my knee. That pain made it extremely difficult to gain strength back in my quad, especially my in my VMO. Before the ski season, I was strength tested to make sure I was strong enough for the ski season. I passed strength-wise even though I couldn't do something as simple as skipping without excruciating pain.

A few weeks into the ski season, I decided to play indoor soccer and couldn't walk for the next 2 days. I played again a week later and was done for. I hadn't damaged my knee, but apparently was having issues with the staple that was in my knee. It was super inflamed and irritated. So I had to get scoped again to remove the staple and do a little clean up while they were in there. I suffered a great deal of pain that season and was honestly scared to ski for the next couple months. Things eventually got better, but I literally cried at the top of the first competition (Subaru Freeskiing World Tour) run that year because I was so scared. I looked at the terrain with a completely different eye that entire season. A few months later, finally feeling like the pain was beginning to subside I re-tore my ACL and restretched my PCL during a mellow day of skiing with some friends who were visiting form out of town. Like Claire, my skis caught some roots/branches that were just barely covered by the new snow. I knew I had done something to my knee, but at the time I didn't think I had re-torm my ACL. I had significantly more stability than last time, so I rested a few days and went to Aspen for a ski commitment that was already scheduled. I skied that week with significant instability and was pretty nervous every time I made a right hand turn. After Aspen, I returned home and received the official news on my 30th birthday that I had indeed re-torm my knee. I couldn't believe that I had to go through surgery and the recovery all over again.

So I had surgery on the ACL again. My doctor talked to me about repairing the PCL since I had re-stretched it and created a great deal of laxity in my knee, but often times a repair of the PCL doesn't last and it just restretches after the surgery so instead of repairing the PCL my doctor ended up doing a "reefing" technique (kind of like pleating a pair of pants) on a ligament called the posterior oblique ligament in my knee (didn't even know that existed in my knee). The idea is to tighten everything up in there. Hopefully it works. I've had a hell of a time getting my strength back, but my knee still feels a million times better than it did at this time last year.

Most recent update: I've had to get my knee drained twice since the surgery in the spring, and in the most recent drain they found pieces of cartilage in the fluid which means that my cartilage is continuing to flake off. My doc said that my knees are OK for now, but with continuous cartilage damage and flaking I'm well on my way to arthritic knees. I don't want to believe it, but I'm also starting to change my approach on how I treat my body and the impact that I place on my knees. I haven't run or played soccer (minus a time here or there) for almost two years. It's a weird transition, but I guess it's all part of getting older and making smart choices that will effect my knees in the short and long term.