Monday, 04 Feb 08
The following is a recent e-mail from BeThree, which is a daily e-mail of inspirational words for women created by Jumper Lindsay Yaw. To sign up for the e-mail, CLICK HERE.
Which sentence below best describes you?
A. "When I get that sweet promotion, then I'll finally take a bikini vacay in Mexico."
B. "When I meet the perfect guy, then I'll be happy and never bitch and moan."
C. "When I lose five pounds, then I'll feel good about my body…but not until then."
Sound familiar? And do you notice any similarities between the three? Yup, all of them are loaded with the words, "when" and "then" – suggesting that we can't experience personal fulfillment right now. When you use "when" coupled with "then," you're accepting the notion that it's okay to delay happiness. If this becomes a pattern, we can get used to rationalizing life in this way, leaving us constantly creating new goals and never feeling satisfied.
Try This: To stop this "when…then" cycle, start by noticing what types of situations you're in when you use these words. Then, when you find yourself in a similar place repeatedly, come up with a validating replacement phrase. Instead of saying, "When I meet the perfect guy, then I'll be happy," try, "My life is exciting, and when I meet Mr. Right, it'll be even better." (While we're at it, notice the use of "and" instead of "but" in that last sentence. More on that here.)
We all deserve to experience happiness in this very moment. It's not a matter of "when" and "then," it's more a matter of "now" and "how."
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